like pulling teeth.
I did a reading today. it went quite well. i had a conversation that encouraged me about the teaching position. for those who don't know, i have been asked to apply for a position teaching theatre to middle school and high school kids. it would send me back to atlanta for a couple of years, but i am getting pretty pumped about it. my biggest fear as an artist is ever having to compromise my artistic integrity to make ends meet. i can think of nothing more rewarding than to help to nurture a passion in young kids. tonight i am pulling an all nighter writing about euripides and aristophanes. the harddrive on my computer crashed, so i only have til 1 AM to use the computers at the library, and from then on i am forced to hand write. i am pretty spun on caffeine right now, and in this eurphoric zone where i just want to talk to my close friends and laugh and drink. fuck school work. i'm ready to graduate.
peppermint is good for stomach ailments.
i want to know more about the space between sleep and wakea conscious and subsconsious tug o war for a dominant position in one's reality.i really like waking and being disoriented for a moment- completely seperated fromany knowledge of who and where you are in the space. time becomes nonexistant, shadowed by the physical reality of simply existing somewhere unknown. without a full recognition of time, ourselves as we know ourselves becomes a mere image removed from the state of recognized identity- a reality that is wedded to the subconscious past and yet emerging into the conscious present. this moment is brief, and then gone. sometimes you won't feel it again for months, maybe years- and it usually happens when you nap in the afternoon. ***********NEWSFLASH!!!*********eyeball barometers all agree that february is the coldest month.
bloody paws and chapped mouths
today i taught theatre outreach for the first time. 9-13 year olds. they are amazingly creative. right now they're doing creative composition to find themes for our spring production. they have found themes of family, nature, fairytales, dreams and mystery. teaching is so exciting.then i went to the yonkers animal shelter on a class field trip. so very disturbing.i was going to audition for "The Importance of Being Earnest" but i decided my schedule really doesn't permit it right now what with the impending excitement of the real world and trying to establish my place in it. now i have 20 minutes until my call for the second night of our show(which went really well last night). tomorrow a 10 AM rehearsal for a reading- and then maybe i'll be able to sit down for 5 seconds.
last night i had a dream that involved dismembered apes.
all i really remember is walked around and stumbling over ape heads,
arms, hands, legs...
yesterday afternoon i took a nap and had a dream that involved a bunch of children(one of which was retarded) and caged rodents who kept escaping.
something funky's going on inside the dome.
i am about to go film people dissecting fetal pigs. i'm sure that will be a postitive reinforcement for my animal laden subconscious.
i do voodoo better than you do.
we stole a school car this morning and went to eileen's country kitchen and i'm pretty jazzed up on caffeine.
i haven't slept much lately and it's glorious.
my show "pushing the prince into denmark" goes up this friday- i'm playing ophelia.
i really love tragic characters and the challenge of justifying their behavior to create a complete
human being whose actions are legitimate and personally acceptable despite the external insanity that might present itself as a result.
now i'm at work.
i have to go set up a table in the dining hall and promote the office of career counseling but really i'm just going to schmooze and eat free food and get paid and maybe say something constructive here and there.
spring break plans in the brew-
atlanta, new york, vermont, boston, and back to new york...2 weeks of traveling out of a backpack. i'd love to do a bit of hitchhiking too, but we shall see if that comes about. i have a warrant out for my arrest in the state of vermont, so perhaps hitchhiking isn't the best plan. then again, it'd be quite the experience.
last night's slumber bestowed upon me yet another apocalyptic dream. two parallel eiffel towers- each falling seperately, sending tidal waves in two directions. gusty tidal winds making people's bodies into bouncy balls, splattering them on the cement into shattered bones and spilled insides. i ran to the tallest building- somehow escaping, trying desperately to call my loved ones. a grim scene to wake to, i tried to pry my mind away, forcing my eyes to open and take in the winter light reflecting on my walls- only to fall asleep again to a continuation. thoughtful showers of darkness.